The thing in us we fear just wants our love.

The air was warm for late october. I had a different expectation for the season but thats how life goes around here. After a while expectations are just a waste of time. Depending on who you ask, thats how i spend most of my time anyway, wasting it. I come from a small town where work ethic is genuinely valued. So i am well aware of the time i squander .

Every second I am aware of.

I even waste time keeping up with the time i have wasted.

Today.

Here I stand In my hometown.

Wasting time.

Walking around the track behind the school I attended from 6th to 8th grade.

“The Track”.. I remember. People in town would call it.

“I am going to The Track after work to walk”. They would say.

I don’t live in cities that small anymore.

I waste time in bigger cities.

It has been 15 years since I was last standing over this soil. Those were the days we cried for freedom and wiped away our tears with ignorance.

I am drifting rapidly without intention. The spinning is no longer making me sick but turning me on. This crazy fast roller coaster that ends with the ether. This ride. We take, Enjoy.

As natural as time was distance. There seemed to be a metaphor for my life within contemplation of the new space that separated me from the crumbling track.

I put on my headphones. Leonard Cohen began to entrance my mind. I started to think of the girl that had consumed all of my teen hopes, dreams, and fantasies . She actually came by my house while I was a freshman in high school. My mother was away at work. She said she wanted me. Every young mans dream. Dripping wet in her Insane Clown Posse shirt. It was Just a phase she went through. She was never a real juggalo. She was actually way to intelligent and elegant to be anything other than amazing. she moved like the melody in an Incubus song. Caring me with her as I stumbled along. playing in my head over and over all day. That day she came over. I didn’t know how to act. I never did. I told her no. The reason i gave her is that I was into god. I was afraid. Sex was scary. I would disappoint. And she was so perfect.

I feel like she is the first girl I lost.

I bet she doesn’t even remember.

It is so hard to be remembered. There are so many people to know. There are so many people who have molded my life that will never know.

She was one of them.

The faded white lines on the track are hidden by filth. A thick covering. Traces of thousands of innocent footsteps. In a city where main street echos the splintering of poor boys backs. Those would be the most relaxed and carefree steps for the majority of those I walked it with.

I pull my headphones away from my ears and close my eyes.

Her face.

I was afraid.

“The things we fear just wants our love.”

Tears were gaining weight. The rain clouds roll in almost unrealistically fast. I walk to my car slowly.

I look across the parking lot to a loading dock behind the high school band room.

The rain.

Bruce

Don’t worry! You will always have everything you need

Don’t worry! You will always have everything you need.

Once again we foray into the realm of the absurd. When did we start using exclamation points in fortune cookies? I think it’s reckless to use grammar with such careless whimsy like that.
On to the fortune part of the show. I can prove this fortune wrong with two words. The parachute. Done. At some point in history (the dates are a little fuzzy) someone thought it would be a great idea to be prepared in the event you were falling out of the sky. So this person (we’ll call him George) took the time to be prepared and strapped a chute to his back. So BECAUSE George worried, he indeed had everything he needed. And George didn’t even have to use an exclamation point.
Let’s look at it from another angle. Let’s go back and visit Timmy from my last post. Timmy and his dad have finally arrived at Disney world and Timmy is giddy with excitement. He knows he’s about to have the time of his life. He’s sure he’ll be recounting his adventures while he’s at the playground for years to come. As he walks up to the park gates with his dad, Timmy is bouncing up and down, eager to get in and scream his lungs out on roller coasters, get some character autographs and shove as much junk food as he can down his gullet.
“I forgot the tickets”. Those four words uttered by his father just plunged Timmy into a lifetime of therapy. But wait, wasn’t Timmy’s dad supposed to not worry! And have everything he needs? Of course not! Now, because of the stress of his hopefully traveling and not worrying father, Timmy is going to have a mid life crisis at age 8! This means that Timmy will go out and buy an overly expensive Italian big wheel and all the other kids on the block will think he’s trying to overcompensate for something, although they have no idea what yet. Then Timmy will scandalously run off with a much younger woman, probably age 6, and be the talk of the town at recess and at milk breaks. So for Timmy’s sake, worry and be prepared. And above all, when it comes to big wheels, buy American.

David

“Life is not a struggle. It’s a wiggle.”

It’s a pretty bad day when a slip of paper that comes out of a delectably crunchy treat triggers my argumentative side before I even finish the cookie, but here’s one that sparked a heated debate at my dinner table, which means there’s no right or wrong way to read this. After years of research into the various types of “hustle,” it seems like the universal truth is that life is and forever will be a struggle. Granted, if you took an idealistic approach, thinking of your “struggles” as less-extreme “wiggles,” then the upcoming conclusions that I draw will have very little relevance to you. However, if you are a realist and like to “kick the tires” on life (so to speak), then you’ll appreciate what this fortune means to me.

Life has a tendency to place you in situational grey areas. There’s no clear solution that is blatantly hitting you over the head, like “I’m the right one, idiot.” Of course, there are the clear cut boundaries of right and wrong, but for a world full of color, reality seems to generally operate in shades of grey. The challenges you face on a daily basis can be daunting, but when you hear the word “struggle,” the inherent level of difficulty seems to be all the more impossible. It’s over before it even begins, but when you change your attitude, even the most impossible task seems manageable. I don’t think it’s fair to say that life as a whole is as lackadaisical as “wiggle” implies, but when there’s things that need to be done and achievements that need to be completed, remember these random, yet applicable, facts. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Everything is in some way possible, and the best way to go through life is by dancing through it. That’s right, ladies. Wiggling is absolutely recommended. But again, life is anything but a “wiggle.”